Couples that decide on a separation in Maryland do so for any number of reasons, including:

  • Out of anger
  • To avoid fighting in front of the children
  • For one spouse to get away from a bad situation
  • When one spouse is deployed or has a job out of town (temporary separation)
  • In an attempt to reconcile

Wait—did we just say separation for reconciliation? Yes. While it may seem counterintuitive, some couples that separate temporarily do so in order to save the marriage.

When the relationship is so strained that it’s near the breaking point, a little time apart can help improve matters, provided the separation is arranged properly. However, tread very carefully so that you don’t disrupt the already fragile relationship. A separation with reconciliation in mind must be handled very delicately. Here are a few tips:

  1. Set a specific time period. 
    A separation with no ending time in mind can drag on, eventually ending in divorce after all. Agree to separate for a certain time period, such as three months.
  2. Communicate regularly.
    The danger of separation is that the absence can make you and your spouse drift further apart, if you let it. The key to a successful separation for reconciliation is to communicate regularly. Agree on how often that should be so there is no miscommunication.
  3. Be clear about expectations.
    Miscommunication can breed all sorts of troubles. The more thought out your separation is, the less chance there will be for feelings to get hurt in an already fragile relationship.
  4. Date each other.
    It may seem strange to be romantic when your relationship is strained, but couples that are struggling often manage to reignite that spark by bringing back the romance. Dating your spouse again may help you remember what is so special about each other and why you got together in the first place. That intimacy can then help you get through the tough stuff together.
  5. Get counseling.
    Absence alone will not make the problem go away. You may need a little extra space while dealing with tense situations, but it’s important that you continue to work on those issues in your marriage that led to the need for separation. One or both of you may need individual counseling, and marital counseling is a must.

The Maryland divorce attorneys of Nickelsporn and Lundin have experience dealing with couples in the midst of strained marriages. For more information or a free consultation, call us at 800-875-9700.